Have you ever looked at a dog and thought, “I wish I could come back as a dog in my next life”?
I’ll admit, I’ve uttered the above a few dozen times today throughout my adult life, especially every time my spoiled dogs get their BarkBox and they forget I exist. (You ungrateful little trolls, you can’t order BarkBox without me!)
But being a dog isn’t all about sniffin’ bootay and getting treats 24/7. Sure, once you’re old enough to not pee every two hours things get way more fun, but first you’ve got to get through puppyhood. And being a puppy is HARD. WORK.
Here are 20 reasons being a dog is incredibly hard work, as told by puppies.
1. Your tiny limbs can’t reach the haters.
2. Someone’s always trying to wake you up to touch you but you just want to sleep.
3. Eating is always a messy affair.
4. No one understands that you’re a fierce fluff warrior.
5. No one warns you that making friends with catholes is, like, impawssible.
6. You’re so small that any attempts at making yourself a bed out of blankets leave you feeling unsatisfied.
7. THE CONSTANT YAWNING.
8. Everyone at the dog park makes fun of you for being part of the Itty Bitty Pittie Committee.
9. Food is hard.
10. Stairs. ’nuff said.
11. You have to share your food with your littermates.
12. You spend most of your time recovering from tumbles.
13. You’re completely bewildered by this…thing. wtf. you goiz. wut is this.
14. Everyone else can stand in the shallow end while you’re struggling to stay afloat.
15. Every situation is made infinitely worse by your roly-polyness.
16. You always need a booster seat, even when you’re sitting on your throne.
17. People just…touch you. And it always tickles.
18. None of your friends are tall enough to save you from HELL bathtime.
19. JAIL.
20. Everyone laughs when you look like a turtle on its back but no one helps you up.